Spit and Grit by Jeanie P. Johnson

Author:Jeanie P. Johnson [Johnson, Jeanie P.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-11-29T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SEVEN

Randolph manages to find me some buttons and I tediously sew them to my dress. I don’t have any under things to wear under it though. The hem is all ripped and there are holes along the back next to the buttons. The neck has a piece ripped out of it, from when the man that was assaulting me, had jerked on it to pull it off of me. It makes the neck line even lower than it was before. I try to repair it by hemming the neck line but it makes the neckline so low I believe it is indecent. Only it is better than wearing a shirt that shows my body through the thin material, I decide. Randolph did not find me enough buttons, so I had to space them farther apart, which leaves little gaps between the buttons up the back of my dress, but I suppose it is better than one large gap.

My thoughts are confused as I venture above board because of an incident in Randolph’s cabin. When the fresh breeze hits me in the face, I breathe the sea air deeply. The wind catches my hair and blows it in a tangle around my face, only I don’t care. I just want to be where I can walk around and look out at the ocean and clear my thoughts. I find my way to the front of the ship and stand at the bow, as it lifts and falls against the waves. It causes my stomach to do flip flops but, at least, it is not making me feel sick any longer.

I had been sick for a week, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I was carrying a child or because of the ocean. Now I am feeling a lot better and I am beginning to enjoy the experience of being on a ship.

During that week, Randolph started staying up at night to navigate the ship and sleep during the day. I don’t know if it was because he wanted to give me more space to sleep in the bed or because he just did not want to sleep next to me? Then he reveals the reason today. He has not tried to touch me in an intimate way, and though we spend time together playing cards, or chess, he is usually busy running the ship.

When he sleeps, though, he never wears any clothes and because he sleeps during the day, and the cabin is usually warm, he doesn’t bother to cover up. Sometimes I sit for hours, watching him sleep. I am mesmerized watching him. It makes me think of how I had run my hand over Granger after we finally made love to each other.

I am thinking about this, as I stand at the bow, looking out on the ocean, because today, just before I came up here, I had been watching him sleep. I was shocked when I witnessed him touching himself in a way that disturbed me.

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